My Anecdotal Life by Carl Reiner

Author:Carl Reiner
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: St. Martin's Press

16

Mickey Rooney, 99.99% Perfect

While writing the screenplay for The Comic, my friend and collaborator Aaron Rubin and I often remarked how lucky we were that Dick Van Dyke, who in the history of television, was the finest all-around performer to ever grace a situation comedy, signed on to play the role of Billy Bright. It was not just that Dick Van Dyke was the perfect actor to play the part of a fictional silent-movie comedian, he was the only actor for it. Dick so admired the great silent movie comedians Buster Keaton, Stan Laurel, Oliver Hardy, and Charles Chaplin that he bemoaned the fact that he was born forty years too late to be a part of their era. I heard Dick voicing this wish often during the time we spent together in the ’60s. I believe, if Mephistopheles popped in on Dick and offered him a chance to sell his soul for the chance to work in those old black-and-white comedies, he would think long and hard before refusing.

Without resorting to satanic help, our good luck continued. The brilliant Mickey Rooney agreed to play the role of Billy Bright’s best friend, Cockeye. In the late ’30s and early ’40s Mickey Rooney was the number-one box-office draw for three consecutive years and was considered to be Hollywood’s most versatile and bankable star. There was nothing he couldn’t do, and whatever he did, he did brilliantly. He could sing, dance, compose songs, play the piano, perform flamboyant drum solos, strum a mean banjo, and effectively play both comedic and dramatic roles. Never has there been a happier pair of producer-writers than Aaron and I. We had our dream cast, Dick Van Dyke, Mickey Rooney, and the beautiful and vivacious Broadway singing star Michelle Lee as Dick’s co-star. This would be my second film-directing job. Being responsible for a major motion picture that was budgeted for $3 million, three times the amount I had spent on my first film, Enter Laughing, was a little unsettling. I was also concerned about how a bona-fide film legend would take to being directed by a nervous, insecure neophyte. Why would he do what I suggested? Why should he? Well, he didn’t! On our first day of rehearsal, my film legend balked at doing a simple thing that I politely asked him to do.

“I’m sorry, Mr. Reiner,” he demurred, “but I’m afraid I can’t do what you’re asking!”

At first, I assumed he was joking as he had a big grin on his face—and his addressing me as Mr. Reiner had a playful ring to it. Now, as I’ve said, Mr. Rooney was contracted to play a character called Cockeye, loosely based on the silent film comedian Ben Turpin. Mr. Turpin, besides being a very able comedian, was also very cross-eyed. Today you do see women with Bette Davis eyes, but thanks to modern surgical procedures, you will rarely see anyone with Ben Turpin eyes. In the days of political incorrectness, it was not uncommon to hear

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